A passionate woman is worth the chaos.
I leave the Cairngorms at the end of this week. Probably Thursday or Friday. I’ll go to my parents’ house for a couple of days and then back to Glasgow on Sunday.
In all honesty I’m dreading it right now. I know it won’t take me long to settle back in to city life but I’m terrified of picking up right where I left off. Feeling busy, stressed, over-worked, under-appreciated, cooped in, lonely, overstimulated, bored. Here I work hard, but not too hard. I sleep (just) enough, get up early and to bed not too late. I don’t overuse the internet. I work outside, my muscles feel good at night and I’m windswept, rained on and sun-worn.
There are definitely things I miss about Glasgow. Friends, Tchai Ovna, pubs, cider, my spice rack, Teasel, my flat, my records, playing guitar, choir, gardening. But crawling into bed (single - all mine) with a hot water bottle and lavender oil on the pillows, drinking hot chocolate and reading while listening to the rain on the cabin roof - how can I not be devastated to leave that behind?
Now I see the secret of making the best person: it is to grow in the open air and to eat and sleep with the earth.
If you love deeply, you’re going to get hurt badly. But it’s still worth it.
4 things I have learnt in the last 6 months.
Spend time with yourself;
Go on coffee dates
Take a journal everywhere
Spend time sitting in your own silence
Have patience for your family;
They’re the most familiar people you’ll ever know
Take photos, a lot;
Document what you’re doing because in a few years you’ll appreciate the small details you remember
Know who you are;
Know your expectations
Know what you want and don’t let anyone take your magic.